I AM, I AM, I AM I once told you Taylor said in a "cute" voice, just like that--in funny comic script adding that I had seen it before in the mirror, and left it at that. I can't find the exact song that she does it so well in but to say that it's some kind of cross between what I imagine a Gregorian chant to be like, and a Zombie is just about as accurate as anyone could ever be... about those words. What if God was one of us, Joan Osbourne (and you better see original sin in her name) continues the conversation and I really do wonder what it is you think you would say to or about God if he were really a man? What would you ask if you had just one question, she continues; and you all now have the answer to that--you would sit there stupefied and silent; if he weren't all knowing he'd probably think you were trying to scheme to take absolutely everything good away from the Universe.
Honestly between you and I we can do a pretty good job of speculating what the world's natural reaction would be to God walking the Earth. You don't even really need the New Testament; you can see very clearly my nightmare... imagine a world where many are angry and let down that you aren't perfect--even brought to tears because you too are human, with flaws like them. Even worse, a place where people want to "touch you" for no reason other than some kind of "charm" to rub things like books and crosses against your skin, or ask you for blessings or silly questions like "what does it feel like to be the most famous person in the Universe?" All those things would have brought me to tears myself, so I hope to tell you that where we are is not such a bad place, I think we are in a place where tears will fall, and then blessings will rise--and from this catharsis of "reality shock" that you might call idiomatically a "rain check" for freedom's sake... that maybe one day people will agree with me that while I might not be perfect I've done something to help make the world a better place, that I've actually delivered something close to the keys to Heaven to each and every one of your hands.
On the other side of the coin, we can all imagine that if the "power of God" were actually concentrated into a single person that there would be governments, and intergovernmental conspiracies, and secret societies all doing everything they could to ensure that kind of "power" was not misused or abused (I'm being really kind); and I'm not so sure what's happened here in our past or in the past futures to have given us such a silly belief, other than to point out that while you might see that "abom" that this message coming from a single person might send out that impression that it would take a sincere lack of trying to understand the actual message--one which shows us God's Genes of Genesis as being .. well, his heart, his soul, all of us. I feel quite a bit like Pinocchio, half of me wants to scream that I am a real boy and half of me can see these words flowing from the beyond through a living pen; and it's a strange feeling to recognize, and it's even stranger to tell you that like many other things about me, it is a metaphor I see as the "microcosm of the Messiah." Our whole world is in this same sort of position ... somewhat unknowingly, at least that's what I see in the world around me; and this realization that we've been writing a message to ourselves for our whole lives is a big part of the "spiritual awakening" that is the Apocalypse. A huge component designed not only into our history but into our hearts and our minds is a sort of distaste for this kind of control, at least, I have that... but still, because of the good I believe it brings to the world, I am more than happy to be a "pen" today. A little bit closer to my heart, this particular pen believes itself to be a sort of "goodness filter" guiding the message at least by my own sense of right and wrong; and while that too is probably part of a much bigger and more elaborate "writing utensil" (say our society) I stare at the world around me shunning what I am saying and what I stand for--for free thought and privacy and for a future of free will and having fun with technology and I wonder just how closely the world around me truly is inside in your hearts as to what you show me every day. We live in a place and time that cherishes freedom, and individuality, and I bring proof and a message that these things are falling from our hands and instead of cheers or contribution or collaboration, I see MEDUSA, I see INATION; and I am scared.
My reality begins to unravel when the world does not care that we are living in the Matrix, and it completely falls apart when we do not care that we could stop pain and suffering with the snap of our fingers in a heartbeat were we to recognize that this is the truth. The threats that I could have clung to because we don't really have any visual evidence (aside from a very clear message from God and proof that takes some time and effort to verity) that "virtual reality" is obvious as day and night, they fall apart when it becomes clear that thousand year old scriptures predict a number of externally caused problems with freedom and democracy and society--and even after showing these things to you, you sit in silence. I am baffled, to say the least.
On some level it seems to me too often now a days that everything around me is a farce, that the people around me are pretending to live in this world in order to "trick me" into saving it (which is a little funny) and have no real interest in this place or time or our society or values. Just under the surface of this place that I cherish, this place that loves fun and freedom; I see jackals swirling around the Eye of Ra hoping upon hope that there is some magic wand or ring they can steal that will give them the power to wipe away this marred land of lessons and a history that nobody would ever be proud of ... sans seeing how far we've come, sans seeing that it is a testament to our power and will to overcome evils and improve the quality of life and treatment of others. My deepest darkest fear is that I have come to a place where everyone around me has aged and partied for thousands of years and come back here to try one last time to find the magic talisman at the bottom of the cracker jack box that is still the House of Great Light--in my mind.
Understand that it is not a magic charm hidden in cereal that is talking to you, and it is not even just this little magic cracker jack box; what is speaking to you here and now is the whole fucking kitchen; and what is around us here and now in this kitchen has not all come from this hallowed place. Some of it probably contributed to building it, and a great deal of what is around us probably came from this world, this planet "plan et how" to build Heaven. My second greatest fear, and it's selfish of me; but it's the truth... is that you are all people like me, and this cloud of darkness that has come here to try and take control of the kitchen they live in has convinced you not to care about the good things in our world, not to care about yourselves, or the gifts that we have here of self government, of logical and scientific thinking, and the caring and love that our families and society and civilization shows we had a great capacity for. Still I stand here, surrounded by jackals; and neither the invisible nor the sea I see cares enough for my well being or for their own... to stand up and doing anything, anything at all.
The magic decoder ring is not happy with the cereal, and is not happy with the with the kitchen. I am still hoping that you will use the cracker jack box to save us; though. Understand, Hell's Kitchen is not happy. I can "if" and 'huff and puff" my way to the end of time; but it won't do me or you any good. I imagine you are still people, and I imagine you are affronted or slighted by my characterization of you--and I'm sorry it's so hard for you to see how foolish you really look. What I see around me each day is a broken world continuing to function on it's last leg; waiting for the answer to fall out of the sky, and that answer has fallen and the whole world has turned a blind eye; saying not that you have a better idea, or that you think things are good now; but that you believe southeast is the right way to go. You are driving us to Hell and I am sick and tired of watching it.
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